I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
