Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
