she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
