am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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