I accidentally had phone sex last night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
