we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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