are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I party with great urgency now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
