I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
