It's Friday. Sex?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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