She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
