We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize