I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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