Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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