Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize