woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
