Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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