So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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