Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
did i just pee glitter
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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