He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
