no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
