he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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