I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
