I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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