You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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