My room smells like vodka and shame
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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