There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
