It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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