he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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