Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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