Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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