I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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