if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize