I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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