mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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