So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
