You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you win again, gameday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
