I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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