Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can't put those talents on a resume
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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