Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
