next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
