Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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