i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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