And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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