Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
