dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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