I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
