I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
