I puked a lego.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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