Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
