This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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