I just saw a hot homeless man
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
