He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
