i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
did you just send me my own nude
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
