I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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