Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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