worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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