i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
then he tried to convert me to islam
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
