Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
