I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
