Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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