Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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