Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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