I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
