All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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