Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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