You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
