Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
