I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
