Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
