At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
