he shaved USA in his pubs
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
